I sometimes still get depressed when I hear certain songs or watch movies that are sad. I have found that I am particularly vulnerable if I have trouble sleeping. Someone can say something critical and I will want to cry. I have been doing well lately for the most part but there are some things that still really bother me. I just wish I didn’t keep moving forward in life but feeling like I’m going backward at the same time.
Charity March 22, 2022
Big Dream & Hopes For A Stronger Healthier Me
I started another draft for my dream presentation. My focus is Concurrent Severe Mental Illness/es and Autism: Improving Employment Opportunities for this special population. Unfortunately, when I told someone I met at a conference about this idea, I got sick. I was sick for a long time. So now I’m just doing it for me and trying to make it less personal in case I ever have enough sources to present it in a formal setting. A friend in a dream warned me I shouldn’t put my life on display. I have got a lot of great resources but I don’t know where to start. I like to think my friend would be proud of my book. He said keep writing just be careful. My book is about my atypical college experience. I made it fiction and added a few scenes that never happened. It was going to be a memoir but I changed my mind.
It’s just that life got so complicated after I graduated college. Some things I will never be able to write and share with the world. They are still thorns in my side. I also have had many blessings. I really am fortunate it just seems like lately I’m taking a lot of big steps into trying to be my best self mentally. But even though mentally I am better, physically I’m messed up because I am overmedicated. I have even less confidence on the stairs than I did and I used to just have trouble going down. I need help getting off curbs unless I go out of the building the handicapped way. It’s really frustrating. Also I am very overweight and every day is a struggle of hiding my bulging stomach.
Have you ever heard of the song Brave By Sara Bareilles? It is an encouraging song and it’s on my Let Go Let God list on my Spotify account. ./~ “Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle ‘neath your skin. ./~ Absolutely true!!!!! I hope that everyone is well. I will continue more on this topic another time.
I will continue to pray for Ukraine. I wish I could do more. I am hopeful.
CMRBipolarDreamer 