I have nothing against the National Suicide Hotline.  They have done a lot of good over the years and they have saved lots of lives.   There’s even a rap song called 1800(national suicide phone #).  Go to youtube to listen to it.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ju6Q8Azcmg.    Sometimes you have to find other sources for help.  You should only call the national hotline if you really are in danger of doing it.  If you’re a danger to yourself or someone else.  Other lines are crisis lines or warm lines but a crisis can just be you’re freaking out about something.  Crisis lines and warm lines have prevented a lot of hospitalizations for me.  You can call but if you hear another line ringing and it’s not an emergency, you have to get off because the other call could be.  Sometimes they only give you a few minutes to talk too.  NAMI is the best source of information on warm lines but sometimes you find things by accident if you’re trying hard enough to research it.  I wish that everyone who volunteers for the national hotline knew about these other places.  Very few do.  But just google NAMI warm line and you should be able to find them.  If not, just go NAMI’s Website and call the NAMI National #.  Trust me, you will be glad you did.  They listen without judgement and are really patient.  I recently relocated back to my home state and they have a warm line they call an Emotional Strength Line.  I wish I could meet these folks irl and give them hugs because they feel like my friends. They encourage me. 

I have had a rough time sleeping off and on since moving back to my home state.  I had a short stay in the hospital.  It was the nicest hospitalization experience I have ever had.  So it’s good to know that I have somewhere safe I can go if I need it but once people find out how great it is it will be harder to get in.  Some stuff in my personal life has bogged me down and made me think too much but I think now that I have a doctor I really like and lots of options for a therapist I should be okay.  I was really sad when my first therapist didn’t work out.  I’m very happy with where we live and my parents helped me set up a really nice space for myself in the basement and I have my own entrance.  I’ve wanted this for a really long time.  Last night I made my first dinner for myself for the first time since my folks asked me to dogist Jesse for a weekend.  I have my own cute little kitchen.  My mom’s an awesome cook but it makes me happy to cook for myself and others.  I don’t have a dishwasher and a few other appliances but I don’t need them.  My small fridge and stove are enough for me.  It was so good to use my old dishes again.  I hadn’t used them in at least 12 years, to my recollection.  We got them when I had my first apartment in 2006. 

https://www.naminycmetro.org/insideoutwards/ I found this video as a link on the NAMI site.  It’s very moving.  It’s pretty short and it’s worth the time it takes to watch it because it’s very encouraging.  Sarah Jessica Parker narrates it. 

This blog post is a lot longer than I planned but I hope that it’s helpful.  Feel free to send me a message if you need help finding warm lines in your area.  When I first saw the rap video with the song, I was very moved and one individual posted 125 reasons to live.  I have read that list a lot and share it when I can.  Unfortunately I don’t know how to get permission from the to put it on my blog.  But the most important thing is, I can say I’ve been there.  I’ve wanted to give up too.  I know my family would be really devastated but what about those with no family and few friends?  How do we get those individuals to see the value in their life?  I always try really hard to find three good things about every person I meet and compliment them on it when appropriate. 

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